Tips to help your child settle into school

After all the worry, the school shoes, the uniform, you’ve got your child started in school. So far so good. Now, as your family settles into the new routines, here are some tips to help you through the first couple of years of school.

According to The Australian Education Research Organisation, a child’s transition to school can have lasting effects on their learning and development. And there’s evidence that links good transitions with future academic success so getting a good start at school is very important.

According to Kimberley Aguet a Professional Counsellor at Virtual Psychologist starting school is one of the most significant times of a child and parent’s life. Once the first steps to kindy are taken the schooling journey really begins.  

“It’s important for parents to remain involved in their child’s schooling life in the early years – beyond kindy, particularly to help them establish resilience and confidence,” Kimberley said.  

To help your child build resilience look for opportunities to enhance their coping, social and self-regulation skills.  

“Coping and self-regulation skills can be developed by identifying your child’s triggers so you can help both you and your child plan for these situations,” she said.  “Every child responds to challenging situations differently so your response in these situations needs to be suited to your child’s needs.  

“Get down to your child’s eye-level and regularly ask your child about their thoughts and feelings.  

“This helps your child develop skills to articulate how they are feeling.  You can build your child’s social skills by teaching them important skills at home such as sharing, listening, respecting other people, follow directions and using manners,” Kimberley said.

First and foremost, take interest in your child’s schooling, Kimberley says.  If you ask your child ‘how was your day?’ you are likely to get a one-word answer, ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  

“Try modelling how you want your child to respond by telling your child about your day.  

“Then use language that encourages your child to tell you more about their day, for example, ‘what exciting things did you do today?’ or ‘Tell me about something funny that happened today at school’.  

“It’s also important to ask your child about their challenges for the day, so you work with your child to help resolve them,” she said.

When your child has a pitfall or set back at school, empathy is important. To them the hurt is real and at this young age they don’t have a lot of context to draw upon. That’s where parents can help. 

“Don’t trivialise their experience,” Kimberley explains “it’s very real to a child so avoid saying things like, ‘Don’t worry about it’ especially if your child is clearly distressed by something that happened.  

“It’s very important to acknowledge that what your child experienced must have been really tough.  But do point out the positives, for example, if your child is upset by an incident that happened with another student, you could perhaps remind your child about some of the realities of life and that we can’t always have good days, sometimes we have some good and sometimes there are bad days and try to resolve what happened with your child.  

“If the incident is serious the matter may have to be escalated to your child’s teacher so the situation can be resolved and your child is supported,” she said.  

Schoolyard politics have the potential of affecting your child’s smooth transition school.

Kimberley says, try to ignore school yard politics among parents as best you can.  You can set by example and don’t gossip about other parents and/or children and steer the conversation to other topics.  

Best way to support teacher’s decisions is having a good relationship with your child’s teacher and communicate any concerns about your child’s schooling with your teacher.

“Teachers usually run an information session at the beginning of school and provide their contact details. Parents should remember it’s better to get in touch with the teacher to nip any problems in the bud. and make sure you get your teacher’s contact details so you can phone or email them throughout the year,” Kimberley said.  

As parents we all want the best for our kids. But as adults we might have forgotten what it’s like to be 5 or 6 years old. We get so focused on getting everything right and can find it hard to fully empathise with little people this age.

“Think back to when you were starting school, what was it like for you, what support did you need, what helped or hindered your experience?” Kimberley said. 

“Use this reflection to help support your child.  A child’s first time at school is a vast learning curve for them.  What your child needs most is to know their parents love and care about them unconditionally, provide your child with lots of encouragement and positive reinforcement.  

“Giving your child support and reassurance they need will help you and your child to navigate those crucial early years at school more smoothly,” she said.   

Virtual Psychologist participated in the Optus' social innovation accelerator, Future Makers in 2017 and provides text based mental health support and counselling services. For more information on mental health see their informative range of articles.

Optus Digital Thumbprint was launched in 2013 and is one of the longest running digital safety and wellbeing education programs in Australia, educating over 650,000 primary and secondary students to date.

According to Helen Maisano, Senior Director, Group Sustainability at Optus it’s never too early for families to start thinking about digital safety.

“Online learning is now a standard part of education and even children in early primary may use devices for homework.  Look at setting some boundaries for when and how the device is used, including setting up a space where your child can be supervised.

As they go through primary school, smart watches like Spacetalk Adventurer 2  provide children the opportunity for more independence. Kids can message and chat to family and friends, and parents have peace of mind knowing there’s GPS location tracking and no access to web browsing or social media.

Discussions about when to get their first smartphone are getting earlier these days but every family is unique, and children mature at different ages. Tools such as the Optus Digital Thumbprint  First Phone Readiness Quiz can help you decide whether your child is ready for their own smartphone, and what are the things to look for after they get their first device.

Parents are in powerful position to influence the learning outcomes of their children through behaviour modelling and dinner table conversations.

“Guides such as the Cyberbullying: What to say when things go wrong online can help inform parents so they can help their kids understand the importance of being kind and respectful online. This is especially important when kids start to play games online with their friends,” Helen said.

Here’s a list of free resources for young people and families.

Digital Thumbprint Resources

For young people

• Blocking unwanted contact guide
• Cyberbullying quiz
• Cyberbullying: what to do when things go wrong guide
• Digital Balance quiz
• Fake friends and fake profiles quiz
• Hackers, scammers and fake friends guide
• Lifehacks for a balanced time online guide
• Passphrases, passwords and MFA guide and quiz
• Protecting personal information quiz
• Scammers and fake friends quiz

For families

• Balancing time online guide
• Blocking unwanted contact for your child guide
• Cyberbullying: What to say when things go wrong online guide
• First Phone Readiness guide and quiz
• Passphrases, passwords and MFA for your child guide
• Recognising hackers, scammers and fake friends guide
• Safeguard your child’s privacy on popular apps and games guide
• Stay ahead of scams through family discussions guide

eSafety Commissioner to report cyberbullying, image-based abuse, and illegal and restricted content

Australian Cyber Security Centre - Auto report cybercrime, including online threats and abuse, scams and hacks, data breaches, identity theft and fraud.

Scamwatch to report scams.

Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation to report online grooming and inappropriate contact

IDCARE to get identity theft, data breach, scam and cyber security support.

If your child needs to talk to someone about their feelings or worries, they can contact:

Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 for free, private and confidential 24/7 phone and online counselling services.

13YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7) for a free, private and confidential talk with an Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander Crisis Supporter.

Optus Digital Thumbprint supports digital safety and wellbeing for young people and families. Find out more at www.digitalthumbprint.com.au

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